Let me help you.

I don't have a lot to say at the moment, but would like to give a quick update. 

One: after continually trying to remind myself that my Father will provide, I laid in bed restless for two hours last night thinking of what I needed to do or what I could do to take care of everything myself. Not the way to go, I know. Independence can be a burden. Luckily, I am continually humbled by the failure of my own efforts. 

Two: I should really own the words that I speak and whole-heartedly believe God will provide. Today, I spent time looking everywhere online to find temporary positions, babysitting jobs, anything that would provide me with some extra funds in the next few weeks. This isn't my first go at this either. I have done several attempts previous to today. But this time I got a week long gig! Not through my own efforts, however. A rather random call came into work asking for a babysitter for next week. I am insanely filled with joy as I see God's providence. Even in my times of worry and doubt, He draws me nearer to Him and desires for me to fully trust Him. 

Three: I don't know why it is so difficult for me to cast my worries on God. I know He can handle them, I know I can't, I know I am being foolish. Despite everything that I know, I never seem to actually know much. Knowing and owning are two entirely different actions. Or maybe knowing leads to owning... Regardless, the challenge is getting from point A to B, from knowing to owning. James 1:22-25 says "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do." This is me. Disregarding the words God is speaking. I want to be the voice you're seeking, not the voice competing. I have repeatedly heard this throughout the year. This time, it is my own voice competing with what my Father is speaking to me.  

Four: The heading in my devotional book this morning: Let Me Help You. I think one of the coolest things is our living God. That through a generic devotional book, He makes it personalized. He speaks to me. 

My not a lot to say turned into more than I thought. It happens (and happens frequently if you're me.)

Listen. Trust. Peace. Joy.

K